Fux Populi

Well it's all over bar the corruption. With the bothersome necessity of the election behind them, the new faces in the House of Representatives can get down to the serious business of clawing back the money they had to spend to get there in the first place – and then some. The cash they splurged out during the election campaign was really nothing more than an interest free loan to the poor. Now it will have to be repaid in the form of bribes to the legislators funded out of services that should have been provided for the voters.

Kompas newspaper featured a scathing cartoon a few days ago. A poor boy and his father are standing amid the rubble of a post-earthquake scene. The boy asks, "why isn't your political party setting up aid posts for the victims?". "The election's over now," replies the father.

And the snouts are already nearing the trough. According to the 6 September edition of the Jakarta Globe, the inauguration of the 692 recently elected legislators will cost almost Rp35 billion, or more than Rp50 million per elected official. Of course at only Rp200 per voter, this is only the start. Mind you, it's still enough for 70 modern community health centers....

Putting the Boot in

The election campaign is well underway, and dear me! What a bore. The problem is that all the candidates are terrified of saying anything they could be attacked for, so are sticking to safe ground. The first presidential debate was a classic example. Former (failed) president Megawati actually did rather well, saying more in one evening than she said during her who pitiful two years in the palace. Anyway after a two-minute waffle about overseas workers, President SBY actually said he "agreed with her 200%". Hmm. Hardly a war of words. Incidentally Megawati seems to be running the same campaign as her (failed) attempt to get reelected in 2004 when she went on and on about how she was the prettiest candidate (like this time, the others were all men you see). If she makes the joke ONE MORE TIME, Pemiloopy is going to feature an unkind jibe about the size of her behind.

Anyway, in the absence of any real debates, thank Dawkins there is some entertainment to be had. It's known as "black campaigning", and it's much more fun that the ordinary kind. For example, because they are too frightened to attack SBY directly because he is too popular (yes, I know how weird that sounds), his opponents have decided his mild-mannered running mate Boediono is fair game. So what have they come up with? "He's a neoliberal!" Gosh. What's that then? Well, it's something to do with the free market (you know, not subsidizing fuel for rich car owners or trying to buck the market). Presumably they sat down and thought this one up together. What has Boediono done to deserve this heinous insult? Not sure, but it seems he got a PhD from the Wharton School of Economics, which is a FOREIGN place. Even then, it doesn't add up. In the first place, when he was finance minister, Boediono was responsible for paying off lots of Indonesia's foreign debt (accumulated due to the incompetence of Kalla's Golkar Party) and twice substantially reduced inflation. And he helped invent something called Pancasila Economics, which is based on the village system and is aimed at reducing inequality.

In more "black campaigning":

• Boediono's wife is not really a Muslim, and may even be a Catholic (too silly for words)
• Megawati sold off national assets when she was president (er... true, but necessary)
• Both SBY and his running mate are Javanese (er... true but so what)
• Wiranto was involved in human rights violations in the past (see above)
• Prabowo has dual-nationality (not true, and why on earth would it matter?)
• SBY and Boediono's wives don't wear the Islamic headscarf (true, but so what?)
• Prabowo is immensely rich, but is proposing a "people's economy (OK, that one's true)
• Kalla's companies would become nepotistic and corrupt if he is elected (become?)
• Prabowo was involved in human rights violations in the past (duh...)
• SBY is a ditherer who finds it hard to make decisions (true)

You see. Much more fun that agreeing with each other 200%

The Things They Say (3)

Ex-general Wiranto guested on a chat show last week on Metro TV, a station owned by Suarya Paloh, a key figure in the Golkar Party (the vehicle of president Suharto during Indonesia's New Order military dictatorship). Wiranto is running for vice-president, despite saying he only wanted the top job (see Number Ones Only Please) - the presidential candidate is chair of er... the Golkar Party. Well, that explains the fawning and sycophantic nature of the interviewer.

Anyway, Wiranto was asked how he came to have so much money. "I was surprised to find myself so rich", he purred. Apparently he scraped together Rp81 billion (around US$8 million) from his meager salary as Army commander to buy a few parcels of land, and inflation did the rest.

Anyway, on to the thorny question of human rights. "Are you a human rights abuser?" smiled Andy F. Noya, the friendly interviewer. Shameful as it is to report, the audience laughed!! Perhaps there is something funny about murdering people, burning their homes, pouring concrete in irrigation ditches and herding thousands of people across the border that had escaped me...

Anyway, back to the ex-general. After saying that claims made at the time of his unsuccessful 2004 presidential bid were no longer valid, he had the bare-faced cheek to claim he had never been indicted. Hmmm. Let's have a look at The Guardian dated 25 February 2003. In case any Wiranto fans are too lazy to use their right fingers for anything other than shooting unarmed civilians, allow me to reproduce the headline here:

UN indicts general for East Timor crimes
Clear enough. That makes the above quite a lie. Murdering pig.

The Things They Say (2)

• Charman of the Indonesian Democratic Party-Struggle (PDIP) Advisory Council, and husband of party leader Megawati, Taufik Kiemas:"Hanura is definite, Gerindra is definite, PPP is also definite [for a coalition with the PDIP]"

• United Development Party (PPP) secretary general Irgan Chairul Mahfiz: "The figure of SBY is more dominant and it would be very naive if the PPP did not see the tendency of the people to support SBY"

Well, the PPP - never a party to put a bargepole between itself and opportunism - seems uncertain which sinking ship to desert. It is doing fairly well so far in the count, and seems to be keeping its options open. We shall see.

Meanwhile, 4.5 million votes counted so far...

Coalitionism

You've got to feel sorry for Vice-president and Golkar chairman Jusuf Kalla. He's got a tough choice to make. It's looking like Golkar won't make the 20% of votes needed to be able to nominate their presidential candidate, i.e. Jusuf Kalla. So he has two options: try and form a coalition with one or more other parties, or crawl back to President SBY and ask if he can be VP again (not president, and he is 68). The thing is, the first option means he may end up with nothing, and the second means he will almost certainly get his old job back. So what's it to be, JK?

The other parties are also in a bit of a fix. Traditionally (well OK, in 2004) the thinking is that the president and vice-president should be a nationalist-Islam pairing. So where does Megawati's PDI-P look for a VP to keep Mega company? Golkar is nationalist, so are Gerindra and Hanura. The best bet for Golkar and the PDI-P would be the squeaky clean Prosperous Justice Party (PKS), but unless President SBY is a complete fool, he will team up with the PKS (and run on an anti-corruption ticket). Among the Islamist parties, there is the United Development Party (PPP), but it's in decline and is looking increasingly tired and, frankly, old hat. What about the National Awakening Party (now without Mega's enemy Gus Dur)? The combined PDIP and PKB vote might just be enough to make the 20% , but both are very Java-centric parties, and may not carry the non-Java vote. And the National Mandate Party (PAN) has such an elitist and over-critical image that any pairing with Golkar (the New Order party that PAN opposed during the reform euphoria of the late 90s) or the PDI-P would be such breathtaking opportunism that Indonesia's voters might well see right through them.

So where does that leave Gerindra and Hanura? Leaving aside the fact that Indonesians may not want a war criminal as president, both parties may find themselves out of friends, or fighting tooth and nail (party leaders Prabowo and Wiranto hate each other) to attract enough parties to cobble together a coalition.

Whatever happens, there will be lots of humbug, hypocrisy, legal challenges to the election result and squabbles over the few months until the presidential election. Watch this space.

The Things They Say (1)

Wiranto, Secretary General of the People's Conscience Party (Hanura) speaking on 22 March 2009 in Surabaya urged his supporters not to be tricked by promises of money in the 2009 elections, according to Antara news agency. He then went on to er.. offer promise of change.

Kompas newspaper, 27 March 2009, p25: "Two Hanura candidates jailed for seven months", for giving out food parcels to 100 people on 14 February. Well, it wasn't money......

Vox taxi

It's all very well following the opinion polls, but given the Democratic Party's monotonous lead (around 24% of the vote, 7-10% ahead of Megawati's PDIP) it's just not very interesting - especially as the other parties seem to have given up paying for polls that show them in out in front.

It is a well-known fact that if you want to know what's going on in a city, the best way is to jump in a taxi and ask. Jakarta is no exception and its taxi drivers are a savvy lot. There seems to be a consensus (OK - that's a bit of a stretch and not exactly a statistically accurate sample) that President SBY will and should win. "Just let him continue" is a typical comment. What about Megawati, and her "party of the little people"? Ignoring the usual girth-related comments, the most oft-heard sentiment is that she did absolutely nothing when she was president last time, and doesn't deserve another chance. In fact, they say, all she is doing now is criticizing. So what about Gerindra, the high-spending party vehicle of disgraced former general Prabowo? "He was behind the disappearances of students in '98" said one driver, showing that political memories are long here... Incidentally, this he why he was dishonorably discharged from the military.

So, if it was down to the taxi drivers, the election would be a foregone conclusion for SBY. Hmmm. That's what the polls say anyway.

And speaking of Megawati and her criticizing (many Indonesians don't like wingeing politicians, which is why Amien Rais has vanished without trace), in a desperate attempt to publicly disagree with something the government is doing, last week she launched a bizarre attack on the cash handouts being given to the poor to offset the reductions in fuel subsidies, claiming it was turning the people into beggars. In a hasty shift, the party is now running TV ads showing its workers in a village ensuring that the cash is going to the right people. Oh the irony. Not known for expressing, or indeed having, any opinions, as soon as she opens her mouth she produces the biggest gaffe of the campaign so far. That'll teach her to try and be smart. Perhaps she should have consulted with a taxi driver before opening her mouth.

How to say nothing in 76 words...

Now that Jusuf Kalla has decided he simply can't wait until 2014 for a crack at the presidency, he has two problems: 1) how to ensure Golkar (which presumably will nominate him) gets enough votes (20%) in the legislative elections and 2) who to choose as his running mate.

Perhaps in an effort to tackle the first difficulty while overlooking the second, Vice-president Jusuf Kalla met ex-president (and ex-VP) (and rival presidential candidate) Megawati Sukarnoputri on 12 March at her place. They were photographed holding up important-looking copies of the "Two Figures Agreement". So what specific points did these political heavyweights come up with. Er... none.

Here is what they agreed (stifle those yawns):
1. To build a strong government to bring about the development of the nation and prosperity for the people.
2. The strengthen the presidential system of government in accordance with the mandate of the 1945 Constitution that has a strong basis of support in the House of Representatives.
3. To strengthen the economic system to implement an economic program that is sovereign, independent and is oriented towards the interests of the people.
4. To bring about closer political communication between the Indonesian Democratic Party of Struggle and the Golkar Party as a manifestation of the responsibility of the two largest parties in the 1999 and 2004 elections.
5. To ensure the successful organization of the 2009 elections that are honest, fair, direct, general, free and secret, as well as safe and prestigious.

Hmmm. So 76 words (OK, some numbers) of nothing. Slightly change the wording of point 4 and this could have been written by any two political parties in Indonesia, past or present (including the banned Communist Party of Indonesia). Or change the Indonesia-specific references and the Democrats and Republicans in the US or the Conservatives and Labour in the UK or even Zanu-PF and the MDC in Zimbabwe could produce an almost identical document.

So what's the point? In the words of an SMS contributor in Kompas newspaper on 14 March, "It's impossible for Megawati to be on the same ticket as Jusuf Kalla! Unless Indonesia has two presidents. Which of them wants to be vice-president?"

There is no way Megawati will take the number two job, and why on earth would Jusuf Kalla abandon current president SBY, for the VP job with somebody else who is less likely to win. Surely he's not THAT stupid..

Or could this be incredibly short term political expediency so both parties win lots of seats in the legislature and then quietly forget their alliance? Any possible answers to this puzzle gratefully accepted...

Humbug!

It was bound to start sooner or later. The humbug is now on our TV screens and in the papers and magazines. President SBY's Democrat Party and its claims to have reduced fuel prices have already been discussed - the humbug element is that he raised them in the first place and that in neighboring Malaysia, according to Tempo magazine the other week, prices have been reduced not thrice but seven times...

Then there is the United Development Party (PPP). In the celebrations of its 36th anniversary on Saturday (24/1/09), party chairman Suryadharma Ali said, "the United Development Party was born because Indonesia's Moslems missed having a vehicle for their political struggles". Er... no. They had those in the pre-PPP Islamic parties. The PPP was born out of a desire by the authoritarian President Suharto to reduce the number of opponents. He forced all the Islamic parties to merge into the easily controllable PPP in 1971. This same PPP is now losing political ground to newer Islamic parties and is frantically scrambling for support - hence that masterpiece of misinformation from Ali.

One of the PPP's rivals is the Prosperous Justice Party (PKS), a party with its support basis among urban Moslems. It seems to feel it should run ads, but isn't quite sure what to say. "We are Islamic"? - too risky - might want support from nationalist parties later on. "We are anti-corruption"? - been done before. Ok then, "we are jolly good" - which is what they seem to have settled on.

And the opportunity for large-scale humbug comes today - Chinese New Year. Already we have had ethnic Chinese on TV thanking President SBY and saying there is no discrimination any more. Er.. well it was President Megawati who lifted the ban on celebrations of Chinese New Year and frankly to say there is no discrimination is ludicrous. Meanwhile Pemiloopy hasn't seen a Democratic Party ad for Chinese New Year, but he is sure it exists. As for the Gerindra Party, its leader loathes the Chinese, so unless he thinks he can get votes by attacking them, he will probably stay quiet. The rest of the parties seem unsure what to do - court the ethnic Chinese vote or pander to racism among their supporters. Time will tell, but there will be plenty of humbug one way or another.

STOP PRESS: Well! Pemiloopy is almost beside himself having just watched a TV ad by the Gerindra Party in which the Chinese-hating Prabowo Subianto wishes voters "Kong Xi Fa Choi" - Happy Chinese New Year. Dear God, that must have stuck in his throat. Far be it for Pemiloopy to repeat unproved allegations about the alleged involvement of disgraced former general Prabowo in the organization of the riots and mass rapes of ethnic Chinese in Jakarta in May 1998, but that ad was breathtakingly hypocritical. If this was a spoken blog, you'd hear sputtering! It's like George W. Bush appealing to followers of Michael Moore; Golkar sucking up to communists; Nelson Mandela courting white supremists or Margaret Thatcher cosying up to Arthur Scargill (readers from other nations will have to come up with their own analogies...) Ha!