How to say nothing in 76 words...

Now that Jusuf Kalla has decided he simply can't wait until 2014 for a crack at the presidency, he has two problems: 1) how to ensure Golkar (which presumably will nominate him) gets enough votes (20%) in the legislative elections and 2) who to choose as his running mate.

Perhaps in an effort to tackle the first difficulty while overlooking the second, Vice-president Jusuf Kalla met ex-president (and ex-VP) (and rival presidential candidate) Megawati Sukarnoputri on 12 March at her place. They were photographed holding up important-looking copies of the "Two Figures Agreement". So what specific points did these political heavyweights come up with. Er... none.

Here is what they agreed (stifle those yawns):
1. To build a strong government to bring about the development of the nation and prosperity for the people.
2. The strengthen the presidential system of government in accordance with the mandate of the 1945 Constitution that has a strong basis of support in the House of Representatives.
3. To strengthen the economic system to implement an economic program that is sovereign, independent and is oriented towards the interests of the people.
4. To bring about closer political communication between the Indonesian Democratic Party of Struggle and the Golkar Party as a manifestation of the responsibility of the two largest parties in the 1999 and 2004 elections.
5. To ensure the successful organization of the 2009 elections that are honest, fair, direct, general, free and secret, as well as safe and prestigious.

Hmmm. So 76 words (OK, some numbers) of nothing. Slightly change the wording of point 4 and this could have been written by any two political parties in Indonesia, past or present (including the banned Communist Party of Indonesia). Or change the Indonesia-specific references and the Democrats and Republicans in the US or the Conservatives and Labour in the UK or even Zanu-PF and the MDC in Zimbabwe could produce an almost identical document.

So what's the point? In the words of an SMS contributor in Kompas newspaper on 14 March, "It's impossible for Megawati to be on the same ticket as Jusuf Kalla! Unless Indonesia has two presidents. Which of them wants to be vice-president?"

There is no way Megawati will take the number two job, and why on earth would Jusuf Kalla abandon current president SBY, for the VP job with somebody else who is less likely to win. Surely he's not THAT stupid..

Or could this be incredibly short term political expediency so both parties win lots of seats in the legislature and then quietly forget their alliance? Any possible answers to this puzzle gratefully accepted...